its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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