It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
