I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
