How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
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So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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