I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
