im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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