i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
