Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
