just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
