turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
