hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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