Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
