Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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