Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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