I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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