i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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