I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We were destined to go to rehab together
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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