WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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