Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
