I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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