Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I currently don't understand fingers.
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