So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
