you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
