So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
