I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
