Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
