I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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