id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
