dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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