Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
