you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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