All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
