We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
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