are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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