I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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