I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
