so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
