i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
