C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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