Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
