forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
