I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize