I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
