This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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