Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
