I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize