you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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