he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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