Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize