Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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