i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
