I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize