We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
