Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
