Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
