Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
