Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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