is your mom at the bar?
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
