I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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