she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
