Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
